Zack Morris was Saved by the Bell in Jr. High


Everybody remembers the super awesome "Saved by the Bell", a show about 6 (sometimes 5) high school students at Bayside High who got into trouble before finding a resolution that worked out for the better every week. What people sometimes forget (as did I, or what I didn't know thanks to being retconned) is that the started as "Good Morning Miss Bliss" and followed Jr. High teacher, Miss Bliss (portrayed by Hayley Mills) and the students in her class. This show is basically the first season of SBTB. Like the show we all know and loved there are many things to rant about, such as....
5. Why does no one ever bring up to Tony Reali his stint as Mikey Gonzalez, Zack Morris' Jr. High best friend, and how Reali felt about getting replaced. Speaking of being replaced...
4. How can they drop 75% of a cast and not make a reference to them? Yes, they accout for the teachers and Mylo, but Mikey and Nikki? The entire class has been best friends since 1st grade (because apparently they don't have kindergarten in Indiana) yet going into High School no one comments, "man it sucks Mikey and Nikki moved" or even a memorial service where they stole a car and died (rough I know, but c'mon. something should've been done).
3. Yeah, I said the show was in Indiana. How did they keep some of the cast in California the next year? And Principal? I could see a "jobs transferred" things for the kids, but Belding? C'mon. And how was Miss Bliss' number one world concern, in Indiana, was saving the whales? Seems a bit ridiculous for me. Her number one concern should've been PETBKA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Bobby Knight Athletes). He was killing players and people knew about it, but I guess saving the whales is a more important issue than an athlete's life.
2. According to wikipedia (which is always accurate) Mylo the janitor's catchphrase is "Mylo got's to get his". I've watched 9 out of 13 episodes (as I've written this, bout to knock other 4 out) and he hasn't said this once. I'm not rocket scientist (as I know you can tell with my grammar and spelling errors that are probably in here that I'm too lazy to look for) but shouldn't a catchphrase be said every other show, at the least? Even if he says it in every episode left that's still less than 1/3 of the show. This shouldn't count as a catchphrase, even if that is the only thing said throughout these last episodes. And for the number one reason...
1. Zack Morris was the biggest shithead in Jr. High. While the show only lasted for 13 episodes, around half of these episodes involve Zack dicking someone over. He even screws Miss Bliss out of 1500 dollars (which apparently was the price of a new convertible in 1988, I don't know so don't judge). These are consequences he has never had to deal with and the rest of his life is just him making crazy decisions such as getting hitched in Vegas with someone who he clearly shouldn't have except that she was hot and trying to kill his roommate in college so he could get all A's (Dead Man on Campus, act like you didn't watch it America).
I promise, I still love this season. Thank you to Netflix for allowing me to do watch this Instantly as I will do alot. There are more things to rant about in this show, but I am only one man trying to cram 13 episodes in a row (Hell, I wasn't paying attention and for 2 episodes thought JFK Jr. High School was a HS named after JFK's son). If you have more and want to comment, feel free. Would love the feedback

Brett Favre


Learning from Al Davis how to stay in the league long past his brain is no longer functioning, Brett Favre has decided this week (Aug. 19, 2040) to sign with the Raiders for forty years 10 million each year in what is the longest contract in sports history.

Pitino on the Prowl


I'm aware this is old news as I write this, as the Rick Pitino getting some on the side has been out for two days, but I must throw in my two cents as well...

Congratulations to Pitino for proving how big basketball is in the state and you can do anything you want as long as you are part of the current program (and winning.. winning helps). Seriously, he probably shouldn't have but I'm not here to judge. I just need to become a basketball coach a little sooner than possible to capitalize on this trend.

However, there will be no congratulations to Eamonn Brennan. In his couple of stories I came across on Yahoo! (Yahoo! search for his articles, I don't want to send a direct link) on Rick Pitino this week, he implicitly told America he can't think. He called Pitino's paying for an abortion one of the scummiest things you can do and then declared it wasn't a pro-choice/pro-life issue. That clearly would be, as someone who is pro-choice would see no problem with Pitino being a man and helping a woman who wanted the abortion he was halfway responsible for. Secondly, Brennan claimed that "if public sentiment grows too loud in 'red-state' Kentucky than Louisville can get rid of their mess". You're halfway right Eamonn, Kentucky is a red state. It's also a blue state. I'm aware you're talking politics, but more people in the state know more about the rosters of their respective basketball team (including coaches, recruits, etc.) than they do about the government (names of Governor, Senators, State Rep., etc.) and in some cases basic math. If the governor did this, he'd be gone tomorrow. Pitino (and soon to be Calipari) are closer to Gods than mortals in the Bluegrass State and this will only cement their status.

GW Dancing in March?


Are the Colonials going to the NCAA men's tournament this upcoming season? With everybody at ESPN predicting that Xavier, Dayton, and potentially Rhode Island and UMASS going, I'm going to get an early start at declaring them dead as well. Losing four seniors (including Rob Diggs, who may or may not kill people for fun in his spare time) and Pete La Fleur (who we here at A Grimey Badge wish the best of luck as he prepares to open Average Joe's Gym) to early graduation they are losing quality minutes. Unless Hollis shows why he was on the U-19 team that seems like forever ago and other players can step up, G-Dubs might go another year with talk of removing Hobbs

DeShawn Stevenson Bobblehead




In typical D.C. fashion, the Wizards decided to have a bobblehead night for someone who probably shouldn't have been immortalized in this sacred way (Dmitri Young started the trend only because, in my eyes, he was the first one I got while I've been in DC). On April 2 they were supposed to give DeShawn Stevenson bobbleheads out but the NBA decided to "Go Green" and give out reusable tote bags (which I can't even find mine anymore) and not the bobbleheads. After months of frustration, the Wizards finally sent me the bobblehead and let me be the first to say it was worth the wait. In Stevenson fashion, he is doing the "I can't feel my face" taunt that he does after his one made 3-pt basket a game. Instead of the head, it is the hand that is bobbling. Thank you DeShawn, and maybe at some point this blog will be big enough to get you to sign the bobble-arm.

So It's Come to This


Decided to start this around 2:30 on August 9, 2009. "Help me Tyson Chandler, you're my only hope." - Michael Jordan and Larry Brown